Sep 14, 2008

How to Increase Web Traffic?

Increasing our web traffic is the most important part of your Web Marketing. That is the main reason why I post these sites that teaches us the proper way of doing that. Here are some of those:

OK. May all of us increase our web traffic!
Many thanks to those sites..

Sep 13, 2008

*AMAZING* sites!

As I browse the web, I noticed something different. I found a website that is comprised of a single page with a dedicated domain name and do only one thing. Later, I made a research about those *amazing* websites and found out that there are lots of them scattered in the web. Here are a few examples of them:
  1. http://barackobamaisyournewbicycle.com/
  2. http://www.sometimesredsometimesblue.com/
  3. http://www.islostarepeat.com/
  4. http://www.d-e-f-i-n-i-t-e-l-y.com/
  5. http://whatcoloristheempirestatebuilding.com/
  6. http://www.isitchristmas.com/
  7. http://www.misanthropebook.com/
  8. http://istwitterdown.com/
  9. http://areweatwarwithiran.com/
  10. http://www.zombo.com/
  11. http://www.purple.com/
  12. http://www.yetanotheruselesswebsite.com/
  13. http://www.yousneezed.com/
  14. http://www.tired.com/
  15. http://amiawesome.com/
  16. http://dowebsitesneedtolookexactlythesameineverybrowser.com/
  17. http://isittuesday.com/
  18. http://www.instantrimshot.com/
  19. http://www.isapplestoredown.com/
  20. http://www.whatismyip.org/
OK fine! I know that there are hundreds or maybe thousands of them scattered around, so I now give you the responsibility to find them..hehehe!

:)

Sep 11, 2008

Mr. Tucan






















This is just a very nice day! I woke up at 8:00am and started reading on my online tutorials (J2ME). The schedule of our defense is just around the corner, October 4, so all of us are on-rush doing our own work.

At this point, I am so tired. And to ease that tiredness, I stop on reading and opened my Photoshop and create something that will refresh my eyes and mind. And look what I've done!

MR. TUCAN!!!

:)


(OK. OK. OK. Back to what I'm reading...*yawn*)

Corny!!!

How do you start an onion race?

"Onion marks! Get set! Go!


hahaha!
XD

the Newbie Fireman.

A new firefighter was being trained by an old fire chief.

"How would you react if a sudden fire flared up on the front of the building?" asked the fire chief.

"Break out a fire hose and start spraying it, chief." answered the new firefighter.

"How would you react if another fire flared up in the back of the building?" asked the fire chief.

"Break out another fire hose and start spraying it, chief." answered the new firefighter.

"And if another huge fire flared up in the basement, how would you react?" asked the fire chief.

"Break out another fire hose." answered the new firefighter.

"Now wait a minute, son," said the fire chief. "Where are all these fire hoses coming from?"

The new firefighter answered, "The same place where all of the fires are coming from, chief."

The Strangest Customer at Wal Mart!

Dear Mrs. Denner,

Over the past six months, your husband has been causing quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behaviour and may be forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against Mr. Denner are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras.

July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in House-wares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women's restroom.

July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, "Code 3 in House-wares. Get on it right away."

August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&M's on layaway.

September 14: Moved a "CAUTION - WET FLOOR" sign to a carpeted area.

September 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told other shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department.

September 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

October 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.

November 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.

December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.

December 6: In the auto department, he practiced his "Madonna look" by using different sizes of funnels.

December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled "PICK ME! PICK ME!"

December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed a fatal position and screamed "OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!"

December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, and then yelled very loudly, "Hey! There's no toilet paper in here!"

Once again we cannot tolerate this behaviour in our store.

Regards,
Wal-Mart

Sep 10, 2008

Drive-thru ATM

A new sign in the Bank Lobby reads:

"Please note that this Bank is installing new Drive-through ATM machines enabling customers to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles. Customers using this new facility are requested to use the procedures outlined below when accessing their accounts.

After months of careful research, MALE and FEMALE procedures have been developed.

Please follow the appropriate steps for your gender:

MALE PROCEDURE

1. Drive up to the cash machine.
2. Put down your car window.
3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.
4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.
5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.
6. Put window up.
7. Drive off.

FEMALE PROCEDURE

1. Drive up to cash machine.
2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with the machine.
3. Set parking brake, put the window down.
4. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card.
5. Tell person on cell phone you will call them back and hang up.
6. Attempt to insert card into machine.
7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from the car.
8. Insert card.
9. Re-insert card the right way.
10. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page.
11. Enter PIN.
12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.
13. Enter amount of cash required.
14. Check makeup in rear view mirror.
15. Retrieve cash and receipt.
16. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside.
17. Write debit amount in check register and place receipt in back of checkbook.
18. Re-check makeup.
19. Drive forward 2 feet.
20. Reverse back to cash machine.
21. Retrieve card.
22. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot provided.
23. Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting behind you.
24. Restart stalled engine and pull off.
25. Redial person on cell phone.
26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.
27. Release Parking Brake.

Whew!

Electricity!

Today's question: What in the world is electricity and where does it go after it leaves the toaster?

Here is a simple experiment that will teach you an important electrical lesson: On a cool dry day, scuff your feet along a carpet, then reach your hand into a friend's mouth and touch one of his dental fillings. Did you notice how your friend twitched violently and cried out in pain? This teaches one that electricity can be a very powerful force, but we must never use it to hurt others unless we need to learn an important lesson about electricity.

It also illustrates how an electrical circuit works. When you scuffed your feet, you picked up batches of "electrons", which are very small objects that carpet manufacturers weave into carpet so that they will attract dirt. The electrons travel through your bloodstream and collect in your finger, where they form a spark that leaps to your friend's filling, then travel down to his feet and back into the carpet, thus completing the circuit.

AMAZING ELECTRONIC FACT:
If you scuffed your feet long enough without touching anything, you would build up so many electrons that your finger would explode! But this is nothing to worry about unless you have carpeting.

Although we modern persons tend to take our electric lights, radios, mixers, etc. for granted, hundreds of years ago people did not have any of these things, which is just as well because there was no place to plug them in. Then along came the first Electrical Pioneer, Benjamin Franklin, who flew a kite in a lightning storm and received a serious electrical shock. This proved that lightning was powered by the same force as carpets, but it also damaged Franklin's brain so severely that he started speaking only in incomprehensible maxims, such as, "A penny saved is a penny earned." Eventually he had to be given a job running the post office.

After Franklin came a herd of Electrical Pioneers whose names have become part of our electrical terminology: Myron Volt, Mary Louise Amp, James Watt, Bob Transformer, etc. These pioneers conducted many important electrical experiments. Among them, Galvani discovered (this is the truth) that when he attached two different kinds of metal to the leg of a frog, an electrical current developed and the frog's leg kicked, even though it was no longer attached to the frog, which was dead anyway. Galvani's discovery led to enormous advances in the field of amphibian medicine. Today, skilled veterinary surgeons can take a frog that has been seriously injured or killed, implant pieces of metal in its muscles, and watch it hop back into the pond. However, water is a great conductor of electricity and the frog is immediately electrocuted.

But the greatest Electrical Pioneer of them all was Thomas Edison, who was a brilliant inventor despite the fact that he had little formal education and lived in New Jersey. Edison's first major invention in 1877 was the phonograph, which could soon be found in thousands of American homes, where it basically sat until 1923, when the record was invented. But Edison's greatest achievement came in 1879 when he invented the electric company. Edison's design was a brilliant adaptation of the simple electrical circuit: the electric company sends electricity through a wire to a customer, then immediately gets the electricity back through another wire, then (this is the brilliant part) sends it right back to the customer again.

This means that an electric company can sell a customer the same batch of electricity thousands of times a day and never get caught, since very few customers take the time to examine their electricity closely. In fact, the last year any new electricity was generated was 1937.

Today, thanks to men like Edison and Franklin, and frogs like Galvani's, we receive almost unlimited benefits from electricity. For example, in the past decade scientists have developed the laser, an electronic appliance so powerful that it can vaporize a bulldozer 2000 yards away, yet so precise that doctors can use it to perform delicate operations to the human eyeball, provided they remember to change the power setting from "Bulldozer" to "Eyeball."

CEO Party

A CEO (and member of Forbes 400!) throwing a party takes his executives on a tour of his opulent mansion. In the back of the property, the CEO has the largest swimming pool any of them has ever seen. The huge pool, however, is filled with hungry alligators. The CEO says to his executives "I think an executive should be measured by courage. Courage is what made me CEO. So this is my challenge to each of you: if anyone has enough courage to dive into the pool, swim through those alligators, and make it to the other side, I will give that person anything they desire. My job, my money, my house, anything!"

Everyone laughs at the outrageous offer and proceeds to follow the CEO on the tour of the estate. Suddenly, they hear a loud splash. Everyone turns around and sees the CFO (Chief Financial Officer) in the pool, swimming for his life. He dodges the alligators left and right and makes it to the edge of the pool with seconds to spare. He pulls himself out just as a huge alligator snaps at his shoes. The flabbergasted CEO approaches the CFO and says, "You are amazing. I've never seen anything like it in my life. You are brave beyond measure and anything I own is yours. Tell me what I can do for you."

The CFO, panting for breath, looks up and says, "Can you tell me who the hell pushed me in the pool?!!!"

Calorie-burning activities...

Proper weight control cannot be attained by dieting alone; however, many people who are engaged in sedentary occupations do not realize that calories can be burned by the hundreds by engaging in strenuous activities that do not require much (or any) physical exercise.

Here's the guide to calorie-burning activities and the number of calories per hour they consume.

Beating around the bush ------------------ 75
Jumping to conclusions ------------------- 100
Climbing the walls ------------------------ 150
Swallowing your pride -------------------- 50
Passing the buck ------------------------- 25
Making mountains out of molehills ------- 500
Hitting the nail on the head -------------- 50
Bending over backwards ----------------- 75
Running around in circles ---------------- 350
Climbing the ladder of success ----------- 650

The LAPD, the FBI, and the CIA.

The LAPD, The FBI, and the CIA are all trying to prove that they are the best at apprehending criminals.

The President decides to give them a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest and each of them has to catch it.

The CIA goes in. They place animal informants throughout the forest. They question all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of extensive investigations they conclude that rabbits do not exist.

The FBI goes in.
After two weeks with no leads they burn the forest, killing everything in it, including the rabbit, and they make no apologies. The rabbit had it coming.

The LAPD goes in.
They come out two hours later with a badly beaten bear. The bear is yelling: "Okay! Okay! I'm a rabbit! I'm a rabbit!

hahaha!

Q: Why did the CHICKEN cross the road?

CONSULTANT:

Deregulation of the chicken's side of the road was threatening its dominant market position. The chicken was faced with significant challenges to create and develop the competencies required for the newly competitive market. Andersen Consulting, in a partnering relationship with the client, helped the chicken by rethinking its physical distribution strategy and implementation processes. Using the Poultry Integration Model (PIM) Andersen helped the chicken use its skills, methodologies, knowledge capital and experiences to align the chicken's people, processes and technology in support of its overall strategy within a Program Management framework. Andersen Consulting convened a diverse cross-spectrum of road analysts and best chickens along with Andersen consultants with deep skills in the transportation industry to engage in a two-day itinerary of meetings in order to leverage their personal knowledge capital, both tacit and explicit, and to enable them to synergize with each other in order to achieve the implicit goals of delivering and successfully architecting and implementing an enterprise-wide value framework across the continuum of poultry cross-median processes. The meeting was held in a park like setting enabling and creating an impactful environment which was strategically based, industry-focused, and built upon a consistent, clear, and unified market message and aligned with the chicken's mission, vision, and core values. This was conducive towards the creation of a total business integration solution. Andersen Consulting helped the chicken change to become more successful.

Lawyer's Question

A small town prosecuting attorney called his first witness to the stand in a trial--a grandmotherly, elderly woman. He approached her and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?"

She responded, "Why, yes, I do know you Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a young boy. And frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a rising big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you never will amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you."

The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do he pointed across the room and asked, "Mrs. Williams, do you know the defense attorney?"

She again replied, "Why, yes I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster, too. I used to baby-sit him for his parents. And he, too, has been a real disappointment to me. He's lazy, bigoted, he has a drinking problem. The man can't build a normal relationship with anyone and his law practice is one of the shoddiest in the entire state. Yes, I know him."

At this point, the judge rapped the courtroom to silence and called both counselors to the bench. In a very quiet voice, he said with menace, "If either of you asks her if she knows me, you'll be in jail for contempt within 5 minutes!"

:)

A Cat's Diary...

Day 751: My captors continue to torment me with bizarre dangling objects. They eat lavish meals in my presence while I am forced to subsist on dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of eventual escape -- that, and the satisfaction I get from occasionally ruining some piece of their furniture.


I fear I may be going insane. Yesterday, I ate a houseplant. Tomorrow I may eat another.

:)

Sep 4, 2008

Innocence at it's best.....


(Click on the image to enlarge)




















Hope you enjoy!
:)

Sep 3, 2008

Mess with your Mind! part 2

  • Another Amazing!










How to ask your Boss for a salary increase?

One day an employee sends a letter to Her boss asking for an increase in her salary...

----------
Dear Bo$$,
In thi$ life, we all need $ome thing$ mo$t de$perately. I think you $hould be under $tanding of the need$ of your worker$ who have given $o much $upport including $weat and $ervice to your company.

I am $ure you will gue$$ what I mean and re$pond $oon.


$incerely Your$,
Marian $hih
----------



The next day, the employee received a nice reply like this :


----------
Dear Marian,


I kNOw what you have been working very hard. NOwadays, NOthing much has changed. You must have NOticed that our company is NOt doing NOticeably well as yet .

NOw the newspaper are saying the world`s leading ecoNOmists are NOt sure if the United States may go into aNOther recession. After the NOvember presidential elections things may turn bad .

I have NOthing more to add NOw. You kNOw what I mean .

Yours truly,
Manager
----------

IQ test! (Test for Dementia)

Dementia.
Below are four ( 4 ) questions and a bonus question. You have to answer them instantly. You can't take your time, answer all of them immediately OK?

Click on the RED square to check your answers.


Let's find out just how clever you really are....

  • First Question:
You are participating in a race.
You overtake the second person.
What position are you in?

Answer:



  • Second Question:
If you overtake the last person,
then you are...?

Answer:



  • Third Question:
Very tricky arithmetic!

Note: This must be done in your head only
Do NOT use paper and pencil or a calculator. Try it.

Take 1000 and add 40 to it. Now add another 1000 Now add 30
Add another 1000 Now add 20 Now add another 1000
Now add 10. What is the total?

Answer:


Today is definitely not your day, is it?
Maybe you'll get the last question right....
...Maybe.



  • Fourth Question:
Mary's father has five daughters:
1. Nana, 2. Nene, 3. Nini, 4. Nono.
What is the name of the 5th daughter?

Answer:



  • Bonus Round:
A mute person goes into a shop and wants to buy a toothbrush.

By imitating the action of brushing his teeth he successfully
expresses himself to the shopkeeper and the purchase is done.

Next, a blind man comes into the shop who wants to buy a pair of sunglasses;

how does HE indicate what he wants?

Answer:




hahaha!
KEEP THIS GOING TO FRUSTRATE THE SMART PEOPLE IN YOUR LIFE!!!

:)

Human body FUN facts...

The human body is a machine that is full of wonder. This collection of Human body facts will leave you wondering why we were designed the way we were.

1.. Scientists say the higher your I.Q. The more you dream.

2.. The largest cell in the human body is the female egg.

3.. The smallest is the male sperm.

4.. You use 200 muscles to take one step.

5.. The average woman is 5 inches shorter than the average man.

6.. Your big toes have two bones each while the rest have three.

7.. A pair of human feet contain 250,000 sweat glands.

8.. A full bladder is roughly the size of a soft ball.

9.. The acid in your stomach is strong enough to dissolve razor blades

10.. The human brain cell can hold 5 times as much information as the Encyclopedia Britannic.

11.. It takes the food seven seconds to get from your mouth to your stomach.

12.. The average human dream lasts 2-3 seconds.

13.. Men without hair on their chests are more likely to get cirrhosis of the liver than men with hair.

14.. At the moment of conception, you spent about half an hour as a single cell.

15.. There are about one trillion bacteria on each of your feet.

16.. Your body gives off enough heat in 30 minutes to bring half a gallon of water to a boil.

17.. The enamel in your teeth is the hardest substance in your body.

18.. Your teeth start developing (in your gum)6 months before you are born.

19.. When you are looking at someone you love, your pupils dilate, they do the same when you are looking at someone you hate.

20.. Blondes have more hair than dark-haired people.

21.. Your thumb is the same length as your nose.

22.. At this very moment I know full well you are putting this last fact to the test ...


Now remove your thumb from your nose and tell this on to your friends you think might be interested in comparing their thumbs to their noses as well.

You did it -- I know you did !!!!!

Why I didn't make to the Olympics???

During Olympics, hundreds of Olympians are craving for golds...

But unfortunately, lots of them are losers....But why???

Here are several reasons why Athletes didn't make to the Olympics...


Click HERE and enjoy!
(You need to download it.)

:)

the COOKIES...

This is an another story I found on my mailbox...







:)

A full glass of MILK...

You might be familiar with this story...

One day, a poor boy who was selling goods from door to door to pay,
for his hungry stomach, decided he would ask for a meal at the next
house.


On the way through school, he found he had only one thin dime left
and he was very hungry.

However, he lost his nerve when a lovely young woman opened the
door.Instead of a meal he asked for a drink of water.

The woman thought he looked hungry, so brought him a large glass of
milk.

He drank it slowly, and then asked, "How much do I owe you?" "You
don't owe me anything," she replied. "Mother has taught us,never to
accept pay for a kindness."

He said..."Then I thank you from my heart."

Year's later that young woman became critically ill.
The local doctors were baffled.They finally sent her to the big
city,where they called in specialists to study her rare disease.

Dr. Howard Kelly was called in for the consultation.
When he heard the name of the town she came from, a strange light
filled his eyes.

Immediately he rose and went down the hall of the hospital to her
room.Dressed in his doctor's gown he went in to see her.He
recognized her at once.

He went back to the consultation room determined to do his best to
save her life,from that day he gave special attention to the case.

After a long struggle, the battle was won. Dr. Kelly requested the
business office to pass the final bill to him
for approval.

He looked at it, then wrote something on the edge and the bill was
sent to her room.

The woman feared opening it, for she was sure it would take the
rest of her life to pay for it all.

Finally she looked, and something caught her attention on the side
of the bill. She read these words..."Paid in full with one glass of milk."
Signed,
Dr.Howard Kelly.

Tears of joy flooded her eyes as her happy heart prayed: Thank You,
God,that Your love has spread abroad through human hearts and
hands."


A SIMPLE INSPIRATION
"To fix a broken life, use the tools of the heart."

:)

Sep 2, 2008

what LOVE means...

Here are some comments and answers to that QUESTION from a group of 4 to 8-year old children...


"When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn't bend
over and paint her toenails anymore.

So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even
when his hands got arthritis too. That's love."

Rebecca- age 8
---


"When someone loves you, the way they say your name is
different.
You just know that your name is safe in their mouth."

Billy - age 4
---

"Love is when a girl
puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne
and they go out and smell each other."

Karl - age 5

---

"Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most
of your French fries without making them give you any
of theirs."

Chrissy - age 6
---

"Love is what makes you smile when you're tired."

Terri - age 4
---

"Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and
she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure
the taste is OK."

Danny - age 7
---

"Love is when you kiss all the time. Then when you get
tired of kissing, you still want to be together and
you talk more.
My Mommy and Daddy are like that. They look gross when
they kiss"

Emily - age 8
---

"If you want to learn to love better, you should start
with a friend who you hate,"

Nikka - age 6

(WOW! we need a few million more NIKKAs on this planet)

---

"Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then
he wears it everyday."

Noelle - age 7
---

"Love is like a little old woman
and a little old man who are still friends even after
they know each other so well."

Tommy - age 6
---

"During my piano recital, I was on a stage and I was
scared. I looked at all the people watching me and saw
my daddy waving and smiling.

He was the only one doing that. I wasn't scared
anymore."

Cindy - age 8

---

"My mommy loves me more than anybody

You don't see anyone else kissing me to sleep at
night."

Clare - age 6

---

"Love is when Mommy gives Daddy the best piece of
chicken."

Elaine-age 5
---

"Love is when your puppy licks your face even after
you left him alone all day."

Mary Ann - age 4
---

"I know my older sister loves me because she gives
me all her old clothes and has to go out and buy new
ones."

Lauren - age 4

---


So inspiring..
(T_T)...

WHY???

Top reasons why ladies today are still SINGLE!

1. The nice men are ugly.

2. The handsome men are not nice.

3. The handsome and nice men are gay.

4. The handsome, nice and heterosexual men are married.

5. The men who are not so handsome, but are nice men, have no money.

6. The men who are not so handsome, but are nice men with money think ladies are only after their money.

7. The handsome men without money are after ladies money.

8. The handsome men, who are not so nice and somewhat
heterosexual, don't think ladies are beautiful enough.

9. The men who think ladies are beautiful, that are heterosexual,
somewhat nice and have money, are cowards.

10. The men who are somewhat handsome, somewhat nice and have
some money and thank God are heterosexual, are shy and NEVER MAKE
THE FIRST MOVE!!!!

11. The men who never make the first move, automatically lose
interest in ladies when ladies take the initiative.

hehehe! :)

Sep 1, 2008

Vertical City in Dubai - 2.4km tall...Really???

(Click on the images to enlarge)






This is so great! Whew!